The Forearm Bandits

Friday's Play

The Bandits suffer a 1 win and  9 losses Day.

BANDITS AVOID OPENING DAY SHREVE-LESS SHUTOUT
 
Houma-Thibodaux' Forearm Bandits, the darling of all entries into the USTA State Tournament field, took to the Shreveport Southern Hills and Pierremont courts Friday in search of a destiny that would define its persona, fulfill its collective dreams, merit the integrity and...
 
...enough of that bs...
 
We got sloshed, 9 matches to 1.  The more than likely tandem of Russo-Caldarera knocked off their Shreveport-2 opponents, future District Judge Craig Marcotte and Oilfield tycoon-beer drinking podnah Trey Moore, 6-1, 6-2 to notch the Bandits only victory of the day.  Alas, the traveling bug got to the Bandits on the first day; hence, with a great night of sleep and casino-avoidance behavior of the Renaissance-based 3.0 Men's champions, Saturday, 3:30pm could be the turnaround match that everyone back home and in Panama City, Florida have been waiting to hear about. 
 
The tenacious Bandits (Aycock, Caldarera, Ellender, Jeansonne, Leonard, Russo, St. Pierre & Stevens) were without the services of one Lee Stiel, Jr., former Bandit captain of the renowned "Men of Stiel" former champions, on Friday.  Stiel is in "Petite Dallas" today to give the Bandits a chance at evening the overall record (we're currently 0-2 for all you fans in Rio Linda). 
 
All we ask is that Jeremy Bourgeois, Jerome Lebouef and Mark Rhodes (Bandit players who were not able to motor to the NW part of the Bayou State) salute the Bandits today by drinking  1/4 to 1/2 a case of Falstaff.  We'll do our part -- at least tonight when we hold the annual and all too famous Forearm Bandit team meal at a discriminatingly wonderful Shreveport eatery.  Our thanks to Bandette Debbie Stiel for lining that up.
 
Otherwise, it's on to Cockrell Tennis Club for the 3:30 hookup with Baton Rouge-1 (we believe).  Victory is at hand, or, at least, in hand if you've got a brisk, cold Falstaff in it.
 
Pray for us.  Just like there is no "i" in TEAM, there are no cramps in BANDITLEGS (thus far).  Temperature here yesterday hardly reached 75 degrees; today, however, it will be warmer.  A hearty thanks also to Bandette attendettes TeresaEllender, SamStevens, StacyLeonard and Bridget (w/Shane) who have shown nothing but class by badgering the opponents by screaming in glee when they commit unforced errors (OK, they don't do that kind of trash).
 
Last word to all of you:  CUROLE (move down to 3.0); BOURGEOIS (you'd be kickin' arz if you were here); LEBOUEF (there'd be opponents with holes in their chests had you been here swatting the old yeller ball); RHODES (you were on this team, weren't you?); GUIDRY (return to sender; play left-handed if you have to); ROBICHAUX (how can you drink 3 beers at one time---we haven't won that many matches yet!)  Am I missing anyone; oh, yes--former semiprofessinal model and current overactive actress starring in a new Jim Carrey movie, the lovely and engaging Jeanne Caladarius; the beautiful and gregarious building magnate, Pam Russoooooo; the compelling and stunning Gail Aycock; and Norman's wife who we never met, but Norman says if it hadn't been for her loveliness, he'd be playing in a horseshoe tournament in Pineville.
 
Great tidings,
 
Roger Federererer